Chapter 30 - Finished

Well, I did it! That's the end of this 30 Day Challenge!

Today I am starting a new challenge. It is focussed on time management. I find myself procrastinating a lot and then being mad at myself for putting things off. So, I have decided to keep detailed records of what I do for almost every minute of the day. I am going to plan what I have to do for the day in the appropriate time blocks, such as the parent council meeting I have tonight. This will also include study time, supper prep time, break time, the whole bit. I need to document my time so I can see where I am wasting it, and then I choose to utilize it better. 

There is a two-part reason for doing this. Not only is it to make better use of my time, but it is also to prepare myself for working in the law. When I started school last year, one of the first assignments we had was to document our day in 6-minute increments because that is how we time things in practice. I may not be that precise, but it will help me get in the habit of clocking my time. 

I love preparing myself for the life I've always dreamed of.  It's so close I can taste it. 

But, for now, I'll focus on being the CEO of Paula Incorporated. 

Thanks everyone for joining me in the 30 Day Blog Challenge. I am in the process of significantly decreasing my activity on Facebook. I have created business profiles and a website and will concentrate more on that. I'm staying on Facebook, just in a decreased capacity. 

Chapter 29 - Unfinished

Tomorrow my 30 day blog challenge will be met. I did it!

It's also been over 30 days since I had Tim Hortons or Starbucks! Yeah!

This is something for me to celebrate because I am the queen of starting things and not finishing them. I always have something new that I want to do and so I start it, but I don't finish it. Perhaps the key for me is to make the goals short instead of lifelong. 

For example, the thought of intentionally exercising everyday for the next year seems overwhelming.  However, to set a goal of 30 minutes a day for 30 days is a goal I can reach. 

Low carb for the rest of my life is a goal that I just don't want to start tackling because it's just too overwhelming to think about. However, 30 carbs a day for 30 days is something completely reasonable.

I think I'm on to something.

My next 30 day challenge is going to start tomorrow.  All I have to decide is what the challenge is :)

Thanks to those who have been reading my blog for the past month. I appreciated all your comments. Tomorrow will be the last regularly scheduled post. I may post occasionally after that.

Good night, all.

Chapter 28 - Me Inc.

I had a pretty good day today. Cailyn and I were up early and having breakfast at the church by 8:30am. It was the children's volunteer training morning. I enjoy volunteering with the 1 year olds very much, and I greatly appreciate the opportunity to help out. 

Another thing I did today was create my business card. I was having some difficulty accepting where I am. I have no job and I am not licensed to work on my own. I was feeling pretty down on myself... until I went to a Job Search Strategies Workshop on Friday. One thing the facilitator said completely changed my thinking. It made me feel okay with where I am. Actually, it helped me accept where I am and embrace who I am. 

The idea that she presented was "Me Incorporated". This means that I am the CEO of my own business, which is my life. I may not have a job, but I still have a lot of qualifications, experience, skills, and reasons to be proud of where I am. I am my biggest cheerleader.  If I don't do it for myself, no one else is going to do it for me. It encouraged me to feel confident about myself as a person, and be to be my own boss. I am the CEO of my own business. I needed to get on my own team instead of being negative by spending too much time thinking about the things I don't have. Right now, part of that business is getting a job and getting my license. It was the boost I so desperately needed. 

That boost got me excited about making my business card... here it is!!

I am who I am, exactly where I am ... with or without a job, a partner, a house, a new car, or a slim figure. I am me. I am a daughter of the King and He loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die for me. I have no reason to doubt or fear because God is with me, He loves me, and He wants the best for me. 

God + Me. We got this!

Chapter 27 - Control

Some people have issues with control - as in having to be in control. They take control. They do whatever is necessary to be in control and they get angry when their control is messed with.

Then there's me.

I am the complete opposite. I lack the assertiveness to take control. I don't control very much of what happens around me or to me. I am organized, so it looks like I am in control, but I am not. If there is a decision to be made, I allow (nearly beg), someone else to make it. 

These are opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Control --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lack of  Control

If I am not taking control, then I am being controlled. 

Crap.

The Bible tells us in Galations that a fruit of the spirit is self-control. I am thinking that self-control is where that perfect balance happens between Control and Lack of Control.

Control ----------------------------- Self-Control -------------------------------Lack of Control

This is one of the things that I need to work on. I have been telling myself for years that I need to be more assertive. It is just so difficult for me. It is just so hard to stand up for myself and to voice my opinion. It pains me to make decisions. Just tell me what to do. 

What is boils down to is that I am allowing circumstances and other people to control my life. 

That's not cool. 

I have to start taking some control back. I need to find my self-determination. 

This will be a process...........

OOPS!

Chapter 26 - Confession

I could watch home renovation shows all day.

Literally.

These are my favourites.

Just sayin'

:)

Chapter 25 - Studying

Even though studying for the paralegal licensing exam is tiring, so tiring, I am really enjoying it. That's probably a good indication that I am in the right field :)

It's like the whole book is a review of everything I learned in the program. The nice thing is that now I understand it. Concepts that didn't quite make sense in class are all being brought together. And, while reading through the book, I can hear my professors voices in my head teaching me the lessons.

It is tiring but I love it.

I know the legal field is for me.

I can't wait to start helping people.

The countdown is on.

Chapter 24 - Council

I am super excited to be getting back on parent council. When I was the Chair in Ignace, I totally loved it. Now I have the opportunity to be part of a high school parent council. And, I can do it for six years. That's how long I will have a child in that high school. (Providing we don't move - to another location or to our eternal home).

Being a part of a group energies me. I am looking forward to meeting new people, getting answers to the "why" questions, sharing my ideas, and networking.  I love the fact that I can be a part of it for so long.

On another note, I got to cuddle 5 pound twins today!! A boy and a girl. Oh my goodness were they ever sweet!! Neither of my children were ever that small outside the womb.  Cailyn was 10 lbs 14.5 oz and 23 inches long. Kaden was 9 lbs 2 oz and 21 inches long. I thought he was small. 

As much as I don't want to have any more children, when I see babies there is a part of me that wishes I could do it over. There are things I would do differently. Most importantly, I would like to prove to myself that had we been living in the right conditions, I could have been a great mom when the kids were little. I wish I could have saved them from some of the things they went through. 

I only have one regret from my whole life. My regret is not leaving the marriage sooner. If I would have left after Kaden was born, things could have turned out differently, and the kids wouldn't have experienced so many unhealthy situations. 

Nonetheless, I look forward. All I can do is learn from the past and be the best mom I can be now. 

P.S. I went to see War Room tonight. Excellent movie! If you have the opportunity, my suggestion is to go see it :)