Some people have issues with control - as in having to be in control. They take control. They do whatever is necessary to be in control and they get angry when their control is messed with.
Then there's me.
I am the complete opposite. I lack the assertiveness to take control. I don't control very much of what happens around me or to me. I am organized, so it looks like I am in control, but I am not. If there is a decision to be made, I allow (nearly beg), someone else to make it.
These are opposite ends of the spectrum.
Control --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lack of Control
If I am not taking control, then I am being controlled.
Crap.
The Bible tells us in Galations that a fruit of the spirit is self-control. I am thinking that self-control is where that perfect balance happens between Control and Lack of Control.
Control ----------------------------- Self-Control -------------------------------Lack of Control
This is one of the things that I need to work on. I have been telling myself for years that I need to be more assertive. It is just so difficult for me. It is just so hard to stand up for myself and to voice my opinion. It pains me to make decisions. Just tell me what to do.
What is boils down to is that I am allowing circumstances and other people to control my life.
That's not cool.
I have to start taking some control back. I need to find my self-determination.
This will be a process...........
OOPS!
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