Chapter 23 - Full

Today has been a FULL day. 

Up at 5:45am and the first customer in line at WalMart at 7am.

I got everything done by 7:50am and had 5 minutes to sit and drink my coffee before heading out to school. 

Cailyn's registration went amazingly well and she was able to get all the courses she wanted, including Pre AP English.

I attended a workshop this afternoon to brush up on my interview skills, since I will hoping be having those very soon.

Then I got a phone call from an agency wrapping up a situation I had been working with them on. I am thankful that is over. 

After supper, Cailyn and I went out to do some shopping for a few back to school things.

Then came homework time. I was helping her with Math and Science while I wrote up a "Success Story" for an organization that have helped me get to where I am today. 

Now I am sleepy. 

Chapter 22 - In Everything

It is SO great to have Cailyn home! We have already laughed so much. We enjoy our time together. We both admitted that we've laugh more and harder today than we have in the month we were apart.

We hugged a lot, too. 

Since Cailyn will be starting high school here tomorrow, we had to go buy her school supplies and get things ready for her to register in the morning. I tried to print the forms... I don't have any black ink left.  That means a 7am trip to Wal-Mart for ink, then back home to make sure the kids are ready for school, print and fill out the forms, and then we will be all out the door at 8am.

Should be an crazy morning!

That's what life is all about. We need to take the crazy mornings with the ones that go smoothly, the good days with the bad, and the sad times with the happy times. 

The way I see it, it's okay and completely normal to have times that seem overwhelming. It's okay to be upset when things are just not working out. It's okay to be frustrated when situations pop up that you weren't expecting.  

BUT

You also need to take pleasure and respite in those moments that are peaceful. Experience serenity when things are working out. Be excited when God blesses you with more than you could have imagined. 

AND

In everything, be thankful.

God is with you.

Through every aspect of life. The ups, downs, smooth-sailing, rough waters, frustration, and peace.

He loves you.

He will never leave you stranded.

He's as close as the mention of His Name.

God walks through your life with you. All of it.

Today, tomorrow, and always.

Chapter 21 - Parenting

I got the house cleaned again - yay me! :) 

I took a pile of things to Value Village and bought some groceries. All the floors are mopped and shiny, and all the dishes are done. 

Most importantly, I got Cailyn's room all ready for when she comes home tomorrow. 

In 10 hours she will be in my arms. 

That is the best thing that could happen right now. I have been feeling so disjointed and scattered since she's been gone. I have been doing my best to try and stay on track and focused, but it has been really difficult. 

I am just so happy that she will be back home, where she belongs. 

I tried to be an adult in the whole situation (stop laughing!). I decided that I want her to be a strong, independent woman who can make her own choices, and that's why I left the choice to move up to her. My hope and prayer is that she will always be safe, happy, and loved. If she could get those things in SK, then I would have accepted that. 

When you become a parent, your life is no longer about you - it is about your children and providing them the skills and tools they need to be safe, happy, and loving adults.

I will never regret allowing her to chose her own course. 

And, I will forever rejoice that she chose to come back home. 

Chapter 20 - Blessed

Today is another day that I have a lot on my mind. 

I know my posts have been short lately, but the truth is I am posting because I made a challenge for myself and not because my heart is in it. That is strange because I really enjoy writing. 

Maybe I'll have a few minutes tomorrow to flesh out some of the budding thoughts from the week. 

I will tell you one funny thing from CR tonight... We had time to play through the worship songs again before open group time began. One of the songs we were doing was, "This is Amazing Grace". Since it was practice, after the bridge I did a slide down the keys before going back into the chorus, just for fun. The lead guitarist/vocalist found it hilarious!! He laughed so much that he couldn't even sing the chorus. He was completely surprised that I did that and he loved it.  He talked about for a long time afterwards. 

I love being with a group that is so fun. I have already learned so much from playing in the band with them, and I feel so incredibly blessed that I get to spend part of my Friday nights with such amazing people. 

And, I'm really glad I can make them laugh. 

Celebrate Recovery is exactly the place I need to be. I fit there. I grow there. I learn there. I belong there. 

Chapter 19 - Ponder This

There are situations when people don't have the choice to walk away... and it seems we are taking advantage of those people in those situations. 

More on this tomorrow.

Chapter 18 - Donut Hole

I am feeling lost this week. 

It's like I am in the hole in a delicious donut. Everywhere I look I see the sweet things that God has for my life... But, those things are just beyond my reach. 

When I try to pursue one of those sweet things, it takes me further away from something else, so I try to go towards that and then I get further away from another piece. 

All I am doing is going back and forth in the donut hole.

Church > Studying > Good Mom > Job Search > Celebrate Recovery > Clean House > Studying > Good Mom > Exercise > Job Search > Socializing > Clean House > Planning for Future > > > > > You get the idea. 

I move in one direction or another, but I can never reach the Sweet Donut. 

I'm stuck in the middle. 

Maybe once I get to the donut and climb on top, I will be able to walk around freely in all the sweet things that God has in His plan for me. 

The problem is getting there.

Chapter 17 - Mashed

There is a lot rattling around in this brain of mine lately.

I somehow need to find a way to make sense of it all. Or, at least organize it into something manageable. 

I'd like to be honest and tell you all about it, but the truth is that I can't even sort it all out. 

Everything is just all mashed up. 

So, to bed I go, in hopes that sleeping will help clear out the things that don't need to be there. 

Sweet dreams all!